Yesterday was my birthday.

And I decided to leave the past year behind and start writing again, I miss it dearly.

Love.

We all strive for love, the most precious thing is this world. But most of us will never get to experience it because of all the liars, cheaters and heart breakers that ruin its meaning.

Cara Mio

i.  I met you when I was fifteen years old.

And I’ll admit it I hated you, every little thing about you.

Every bone in my body deteriorated, my walls collapsed

and everything that ever meant anything turned into nothing.

It was like I had gotten everything I never wanted; love.

ii. After awhile Winter turned into Spring, and I was still stuck in keyboarding.

But I had managed to sustain high hopes, an innocent dream and a soft hum.

One that had easily glided on your lips reassuring that you loved me.

iii. Sometimes I wish we could have put a pause on all of that

because once it ended everything else eventually caught up.

You know when people say they see their whole life right before

they die? that happened to me but it was you and me and the

past eight months we had spent together.

It was entirely more beautiful that I ever could’ve imagined, 

framebyframebyframe were memories of us, when we used to be happy.

iv. But all of our love and happiness cohesively vanished

into nothing but a broken heart and a track record of hurt 

embellished with lies, mistrust and a broken soul.  

It was like everything that I never wanted

turned into everything that I always needed; you.

Thursday

Today is Thursday, 

only a few more weeks until school is over, two more days till prom and nine days until someone very special to me goes away to college.  I guess I never noticed until now how shitty you feel once you run out of time, not just with people but life in general.  I think almost everyone has wanted to grow up or reach the end of some journey or even thought about that moment, but really before you know it your there.  I can remember my freshmen year every single, vivid detail and it just seemed like yesterday… but now I’m almost to the end of my sophomore year and it’s so depressing acknowledging the fact that I only have two more years with my class. As cliche as it sounds I really wish I would have waited to grow up. I’d give anything to go back to the beginning, when I was young and innocent.

Cloudy

It’s one of those days that starts out terrible and then continuously gets worse and worse and worse. It feels like the last two months have been put on fast forward and I’m scrambling to try and catch up on homework, sports and just life in general. I guess if it was up to me I would listen to Gimme sympathy by metric (the acoustic version of course) all day long and just day dream.

P.S. I don’t understand how everything can be so complicated, I thought this was suppose to be the best four years of my life?